Burg: Her Breakdown

[gorgonfondness]

Things had been pretty mechanical for the last few days. Life was being lived in something of a haze for the two of them, Alhena occasionally giving them a wakeup call.

But one day, everything smashed into Mia like Vane crashing into the ground.

She simply didn't get out of bed one day, leaving Draco to fend for himself that day.

She just curled up under the covers, softly crying in her pillow.

Ruthless.

She was so ruthless in the war.

And she was so selfish towards Draco.

She deserves this.

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[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Whine, whine, there was a wolf cub trying to climb up on the bed for worried nuzzling.

And then a knock on the door and Draco's voice through the wall, "Mia? You still in bed? You all right?"

[gorgonfondness]

Mia pulls herself just out of reach of the nuzzling pup and doesn't answer Draco.

No. She's not all right.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco became more alarmed at that.

While Alhena whined louder. Mama's sick! Something's wrong!

"I know, Alhena."

He leaned over to tug the blankets away, "Mia, luv? What's wrong?"

[gorgonfondness]

She holds fast to the blankets and lets out a very audible whimper.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Right. Light touch won't do it. So he saw about moving the blanket away with his wand.

"Mia, stop this. You didn't like it when I shut you out. Don't you dare do the same to me to spite me."

[gorgonfondness]

Okay, blanket's gone. Doesn't mean she can't stay curled up.

She clenches the pillow and looks up a little from it, her eyes read from crying.

Great. Now she's making things worse by crying.

She lets out a shuddering sigh.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Well, at least it's away so he can put his arms around her, and rubbed her back.

"...Mia, what do I have to do? Scream at you? Get Alhena to bite your ankle to respond? What?"

[gorgonfondness]

She halfheartedly tries to pull out of his arms.

"No. I don't deserve your concern," she finally replies.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco clung to her, refusing to be shoved aside.

"Why?"

[gorgonfondness]

"What I've done," she whimpers. "So much on my hands, and no regret. That isn't normal. I'm horrid."

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

"What? Your war, or your help in mine? Mia, luv, you're speaking to a former Death Eater potential. If not out and out members. I think it's safe to say I'm the horrid one here, not you."

[gorgonfondness]

"But I was just as merciless."

She looks up at him just a little.

"And I don't know how you can bear to be with me here, when I spent so much time thinking of myself."

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

He gently chided, "Again, that last part. Stealing my lines, luv. Most people are selfish, can't survive for long without being so." He continued to hold and nuzzle her a little.

[gorgonfondness]

She shakes her head a little.

"You don't understand what I mean."

At least this seems to be distracting her a little from being merciless.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

"Understand being merciless? Oh I do, more so than you ever can." Draco bitterly said, just holding her while he started to shake as he spoke, his voice cold and distant. Trying to make it seem like a story he just heard, that he didn't witness it himself.

"Merciless is killing a family slowly, making the children watch their parents be tortured. And then the parents watch the children be tortured, and then be killed. Sometimes his snake's there to feed on the bodies, sometimes they're still alive when it does so. And only after all that, then the parents are killed. Sometimes burned alive. And the whole time, you can tell that the Dark Lord, and his closest followers enjoy it, sick smiles on their faces. My sick bloody aunt cooed like it was sodding foreplay."

He shuddered some more, trying to keep from falling apart again himself, "That's merciless. What you did? Self defense and justice if anything. They deserved it."

[gorgonfondness]

Okay. He does have a point.

Mia doesn't really argue with that, but there's still the other part.

"I still wasn't very considerate of you after all this. After all you've seen, and I was practically clinging to you."

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

"Well, you were. I was selfish too, only because I was too busy with my own pain to see yours. Usually I wouldn't care with most."

Draco remarked, "But I don't want to see you hurt again. Why do you think I wanted you as far as away from my world as possible? You shouldn't have come. You were able to save my life even without being there."

[gorgonfondness]

"This was going to happen sooner or later," she admits whimpering. "It's not just your war but my war too. I killed without regret then, too."

She turns a little in his arms to face him, almost tentatively reaching to hold his cheek.

"I know you're going to help me. I was just selfish in my desire for things to be more like before."

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

"So what if that's selfish, you think I don't wish that too? Only reason I went back was because I had to. More so than I knew."

Draco considered it, "You know... I'm owed a great deal from the lot of them. If Potter hadn't stole my wand like that..."

Don't worry Mia, Draco's always gonna be more selfish than you.

[gorgonfondness]

She wonders if perhaps she's being too subtle.

"Completely like before? Including the nights?" she quietly asked.

And sometimes the mornings?

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

"Merlin yes. Was a lot easier then." Draco remarked, a bit embarrassed of his failings there.

[gorgonfondness]

Mia sits up in his arms, a little relieved, with only a few tears straying from her eyes now.

"A lot of things were easier then. It's just been on my mind."

Ever since the fight with Nash, but she's not going to say that.

Instead, she's going to gently nuzzle against him before kissing him.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco kissed back desperately, and remarked with mild bitterness, "Sorry lot we are. Both falling apart like this."

He reached up to brush the tears from her eyes with the tips of his thumbs gently.

[gorgonfondness]

Her fingers cling in his hair as
she kisses him hungrily.

"No one I'd rather fall with," she murmurs against his lips.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

"Mmmmm," he simply replied in agreement, as his hands slid down to her waist. Still kissing her, though his mouth left her lips to kiss and suckle along her neck. Nibbling at her ear, and licking at the pulse point at intervals.